relaxing slave

drinking green tea from a bowl

i sit here amazed

wind blowing through the pine trees

a screen door separating

the natural world from me

i didn’t want to let the bugs in

but i feel like a bug myself

in this dirty house

while the dirt outside

is clean and fresh

air from the tailpipes exhaust

the juxtaposition

of my exhausting life

 

 

 

 

TRASHED

I WOKE UP AROUND 10AM THIS SATURDAY MORNING….TURNED MY PHONE OFF LAST NIGHT & KEPT THEM OFF MOST OF THE DAY SO NO ONE WOULD BOTHER ME…HE GOT UP EARLY THIS MORNING …AS USUAL…AND LEFT THE APARTMENT WHILE I WAS SLEEPING….I MADE A POT OF TEA…I MADE SOME SOUR DOUGH TOAST AND PUT CREAM CHEESE ON IT….SURFED THE NET A BIT AS I DRANK TEA AND ATE TOAST….WAS SO NICE TO BE ALONE AND TO BE ALONE FOR MOST OF THE DAY IN SILENCE TO DO AS I PLEASE….LATER I DID SOME READING…HEAVY STUFF THAT YOU CAN ONLY READ A FEW SENTENCES AT A TIME…AND HAVE TO READ MANY SENTENCES OVER & OVER AGAIN TO FULLY COMPREHEND….THEN I GOT TIRED OF READING AND MADE A SANDWICH….THIS TIME I TOASTED THE SOUR DOUGH BREAD…PUT SOME CREAM CHEESE ON IT , THEN SOME BABY SWISS, THEN ROLLED ABOUT 4 SLICES OF THIN SLICED PASTRAMI AND PUT A LITTLE HORSERADISH MAYO ON IT……HAD IT WITH BARBOQUE POTATOE CHIPS….AND ICED ORGANIC LEMONADE ….(I FORGOT TO BUY KOMBUCHA )….

THEN I DECIDED TO TURN MY PHONE ON …SAW HE HAD CALLED AND TEXT ME SEVERAL TIMES….THEN CHECK GOOGLE MAPS AND SEE HE IS ON HIS WAY…..TO INVADE MY PRIVACY….SIT IN MY SPOT….CONTROL THE REMOTE…HE DRINKS A BEER…I MAKE HIM A SANDWICH…HE WATCHES A MILLION THINGS….I POLISH MY NAILS…HE WANTS ME TO TRIM HIS TOES….

LATER IN THE EVENING I WANT TO DISCUSS THE FUTURE….HE HAS NO PLANS…HE DOESN’T ENJOY MY QUESTIONING….HE DOESN’T WANT TO FACE REALITY….JUST LIKE A SEX ADDICT THAT HE “WAS”…..THAT’S WHY I’M OBCESSED WITH WATCHING HIM ON GOOGLE MAPS…..NO TRUST…I WAS BETRAYED FOR ALMOST 30 YEARS…..I GIVE HIM ONE MORE CHANCE….BUT IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY…BECAUSE THERE’S NO TRUST……

SO HERE I AM…SMOKING A CIGARETTE…THEN I WILL TAKE MY ANTI-AXIETY MEDICATION AND THEN MELATONIN….SO I CAN SLEEP IN PEACE…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TRASHED

emerald topaz and ruby

lying across the ganges

like boulders

sparking

in the water

as she put her

h

 

 

 

 

she dreamt of three

boulders in the Ganges

emerald, topaz and ruby

and of milky white sand

in the water

and the tsa-tsa

she laid with him

wrapped in a lavender silk sari

under the grape vine

in the back yard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

as she slept she dreamed

of boulders in the ganges

of emerald, topaz and ruby

when she woke

she realized

it was the triple gem

she did not cross over

to the other shore

but was mesmerized by

their beauty

sparkling in the glimmering light

as she wading in the crystal clear water

putting her hand down and

pulling up a chalky white substance

a premonition of the tsa-tsa

given to her

that she buried with

her beloved petunia

the cat that was her lover

from a past life

 

 

TRASHED

When i get inspired to write something i don’t write it on paper, i just go here to this web sight and let it out…then i go back and see how to revise it…but i post it first as it came out originally…then go back maybe several times or more…for revisions….